Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
