I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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