i just had sex bonerless
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
