Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
lets start a swedish sibling band together
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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