I'm really into asian looking animals
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize