her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
