Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
