Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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