can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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