yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
