I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
