you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
