if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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