I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
