Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
