just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
That accounts for only three of the penises
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
