this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
