apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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