3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize