3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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