College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
