Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
