Jerry, you need to find god
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
