she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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