The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
