How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
