sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize