So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
