And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
