grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i've created a new STD.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
