I want to have your abortion
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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