margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
