I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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