Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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