Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize