Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
