Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
