3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
