haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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