Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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