just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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