last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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