i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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