Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
