He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
