No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She made me pour olive oil on her.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
