if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
