She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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