the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
