So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
