I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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