I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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