He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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