He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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