hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
