How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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