all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
