6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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